Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize