I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
