so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
