I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
