god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
