i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize