what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Come see our sink grown plant.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
