A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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