Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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