Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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