god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
