the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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