i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
