and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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