I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
