I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I could fuck to npr.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
