It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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