and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
