Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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