I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
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Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
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We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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