JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize