The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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