NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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