yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
