go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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