careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just google imaged poop.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
