Small penises have feelings too.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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