so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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