dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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