I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
