Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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