i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
