Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she woke up with a sticky ear
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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