We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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