Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
