Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize