We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize