So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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