After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
