So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
