Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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