Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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