...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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