I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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