is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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