You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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