I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Randomize
