the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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