I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
