Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
