my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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