OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
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I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize