white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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