just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
