dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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