Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
